MH Vol.3, No.1

Massage Humor

Newslewtter of the Twerpwyck University College of Innovative Massage

Vol.3, No.1                                       ISSN 1041-827X                                   January 2001



This is the first in a series of workshops that are designed to extract  money from massage therapists. The workshops are sponsored by the Society to Enrich Massage Schools Owners (SEMSO).

The workshop is sponsored by the Massage School Business Association (MSBA)

Requirements: Any massage therapist who can afford to pay the $400.00 tuition is eligible to register.

The workshop is designed to provide a broad and comprehensive introduction to rhinology, rhinomassology, and an in-depth, hands-on training in rhinomassage therapy. 

The workshop will be held in Hortense Effinger Hall, Conference Room 304 at the Bringham   School of Rhinomassage Therapy in Archpot, Michigan.

Massage Therapists who attend all sessions and pass the Practicum will receive six credits in Continuing Education from the American  Association of Rhinomassage Therapists (AART).

AART has approved this workshop as preparation for the National Certification Examination for Rhinomassage Therapy (NCERT). This examination  is administered by the National Board for the Certification of Secular Massage Specialties (NBCSMS).

Contraindications for nose massage

NCERT has been adopted by the Board of Professional Occupations in the 42 states which regulate Rhinomassage Therapy.



8:30-9:00. Late registration


What is a nose? Five definitions

You and you nose - get to know your nose

Introduction to Rhinomassology

Etymological origin of the English word "nose"The psychology and sociology of the nose Words used to designate "nose" in 47 languages The importance of the nose in 28  different cultures

Thumbing your nose. An example of disrespect The importance of the nose in breathing      Using the nose in nonverbal communicationThe rhinology of the rhinoceros

Why some people are nosey

A comparison of the noses of 12 presidents of the United States.

Why pimples grow on noses 

Differences in the noses of democrats and republicans.

The nose of the Mona Lisa

Seasonal changes in size of the nose


The Holistic Nose. Its proper place in body, mind, and spirit

The bones, muscles, nerves, and vascular system of the holistic nose

The holistic noses of famous Greek statues

The eccentric holistic nose

Differences in adult male and female holistic noses

Pathology of the nose

The embryological origin and evolutionary development of the nose

The ectoplasmic noses of  famous  holistic  ghosts

The physiology of breathing, smelling, and sneezing

The anatomical location of the nose in man and other primates

Noses of animals in 30,000-year-old  cave art in Southern Spain   

Yoga for the holistic nose

Some civil engineering aspects of the bridge of the nos e

Nose reflexology for the Aquarian Age    

Sunday  9:00-12:00      

Professional and Ethical Rhinomassology

The noses of 50 famous people

How to massage a nose with a deviated septum       

Nose massage in Babylonia and in the fifth dynasty of Upper Egypt

Nasal meditation to relax the nose

Uncommon and rare diseases of the nose Washing the nose in a hot shower    

Is Eskimo kissing nose massage?Is the nose a portal of entry for the AIDS virus?

A comparison of the noses of Robin Hood, King Arthur, and Christopher Columbus

Distinctive features of the noses of Egyptian and Peruvian mummies      

Proper use of the nose in sniffing snuff      

Sunday  1:00-4:00  

Demonstrations on Workshop Participants

who Volunteer

Contraindications for nose massage

Oiling the nose

Effleurage of the bridge of the noseTapotement of the nose using the index  fingers onlyPetrissaging the soft tissues surrounding the nose 

Nerve-stroking the nose - where to begin and where to end

Rhinomassaging clients in chairs

Infant rhinomassage

Rhinomassaging clogged-up noses    

Doing rhinomassage blindfolded

Rhinomassaging noses with blackheadsDoes rhinomassage alleviate nose stress?

Sunday 4:00 - 5:00

Massaging the Artificial Nose

A color slide/video lecture and demonstration of Nose Reflexology with live patients who have artificial noses by Prof. Throckmorton T. Littlingden, III, Ph.D., MD., Chairman of the Department of Plastic Surgery at Biglobie University Graduate School of Medicine, Fellow of the Institute of Plastic Surgery, and Diplomate of the International Academy for  Prosthetic Nose Research. 

Sunday  7:00 - 9:00           

Practicum in Rhinomassology

Participants will get supervised hands-on practice in massaging their own noses and the noses of other participants. Please bring your noses to the Practicum.


An edited 4-video cassette album of this workshop may be purchased for $200 from Rhinomassology Educators, Inc., P.O. Box 4508, Healthcliff Heights, CA 90753.

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